Let’s be honest for a minute. We love the aesthetic of networking, don’t we?

We put on the blazer that says "I mean business," we wear the heels that cost a month’s rent, and we walk into these events in Geneva and Zurich with our elevator pitch loaded like a weapon. We collect business cards like we are collecting asoebi for a wedding we weren’t invited to.

But tell the truth: Have you ever left one of those fancy mixers feeling lonelier than when you walked in?

We collect business cards like we are collecting asoebi for a wedding we weren’t invited to.

I have. Oh, I have played myself many times.

These past few months, I’ve been hitting the circuit in Switzerland. On the outside? Excellence. On the inside? I was like a lost child at the market waiting for my mom to come back. I was standing in corners, sipping expensive water, waiting for a "community" to magically appear and adopt me.

I wanted the warmth, the open arms, the "sister-sister" vibe. But I wasn't bringing any of that to the table. I was bringing my armor. I was bringing my transaction.

And here is the tea: Community is dead, and we killed it. We killed it because we are too busy trying to be "Empowered Queens" to realize we lack basic self-awareness.

Community is dead, and we killed it.

We have a problem.

We think networking is about us shining. We think, "I am the prize."

But sometimes, sisters, we are not the prize.

Sometimes, we are just loud and wrong.

I have two stories to tell you, and I am going to roast myself so you can learn.

I thought I was helping. In reality? I was annoying. She needed empathy, I gave her a PowerPoint presentation. She felt unseen and judged. She cut the conversation short, and frankly, I don't blame her. She blocked my energy, and I deserved it.

The Time I Was "Tone-Deaf Aïcha"

I met this absolutely amazing lady recently. A powerhouse. But anyone with two eyes and a spirit could see she was going through it. She was heavy. She was hurting.

Now, a self-aware sister would have paused and offered grace. Maybe a "How are you, really?" or just some silence.

But no, not me. I put on my "Corporate Strategist" hat. I saw her pain and thought, "You know what she needs? A Business Proposal!" I sat there blabbing about synergy and KPIs and "impact," trying to rush her into a collaboration she didn't have the capacity for.

I was annoying. She needed empathy,

I gave her a PowerPoint presentation.

I was trying to build a skyscraper on a swamp. These two sisters didn't need a strategy, they needed family therapy. The elder one was playing "Mother Teresa" (suffering in silence), and the younger one was acting like a pampered princess who only worked when she felt like it.

Did I stop and ask, "Is this environment healthy?" No. I wanted the success story for my ego. I wanted to be the one who "enabled" them. I ignored the red flags because I was too busy admiring my own cape.

When the project inevitably crashed because they couldn't agree on the color of the sky, I had to pull the plug. But the failure started with me. I lacked the discernment to see that you cannot scale dysfunction.

The "Captain Save-A-Business" Cape

Then there was the time I tried to be the Messiah for two sisters trying to scale their business.

I looked at them and said, "I see potential! I will save you!" I offered my services as a strategist, and my whole team, for free. For free! I thought I was being a benevolent leader.

But let’s look at the receipts

I offered my services as a strategist,

and my whole team, for free.

The "Ouch" Moment

We need to stop calling it "networking" if we aren't going to do the work.

We walk into rooms asking, "What can I get?" or "Who can I save so I look good?" That is not sisterhood. That is a transaction. That is why your phone is full of contacts, but you have no one to call when things get real.

IMAKHOU is built on Trust, Excellence, and Accountability.

• Trust means reading the room before you open your mouth.

• Excellence isn't just being smart; it's being kind.

• Accountability is admitting that sometimes, you are the reason the connection failed.

We need to stop calling it "networking"

if we aren't going to do the work.

Aïcha Dandjouma

The Challenge

So, here is my challenge to you. Next time you walk into a room, take off the "Boss Babe" mask.

Stop trying to sell yourself. Stop trying to "fix" everyone you meet.

Ask yourself: "Am I here to Transact, or am I here to Translate?"

Are you just exchanging cards? Or are you translating your energy to meet that sister where she actually is?

If she is sad, don't pitch her. If she is messy, don't save her. If she is winning, cheer for her without jealousy.

Let’s stop the fake smiles and the cold handshakes. The tea is hot, the journey is long, and we need each other. But we only get to have community if we stop performing and start seeing.

Fix your face, fix your heart, and then let's talk business.

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